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Luigi vs Yamcha?
Description This One Minute Melee features Luigi from the Super Mario Bros series and Yamcha from Dragon Ball Z. These two underdogs have gotten plenty of disrespect from their peers and fans alike over the years. While one has managed to rise above this status, the other has only sunken into obscurity. Could he possibly redeem himself in the eyes of the fans or just fail miserably? Interlude ONE MINUTE MELEE! WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN AT LEAST 60 SECONDS! 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! AT LEAST 60 SECONDS! MELEE!!! Intro Casino Night Zone Cue Music 1 Luigi walked out of the casino with the a spring in his step and the biggest smile on his face. He'd just hit the jackpot so hard that everybody accused him of cheating and kicked him out. But Luigi didn't mind that at all. He'd been kicked out of every Mario Party he'd ever attended for pretty much the same reason. It wasn't his fault he was doing so well. It was all thanks to a single piece of advice that Luigi now cherishes and holds close to his heart every day. That fortune cookie changed Luigi's life forever, though it also gave him a massive ego. "Great fortune will come to those who do absolutely nothing." By some cosmic coincidence or another, this single sentence became true. Luigi now followed it in a religious manner with his every activity. Luigi jumped in joy once more, not even watching where he was going. "OW!" Luigi fell right on his ass when he barged into a strange man wearing an orange gi. "Ow, hey watch where you're going man!" Luigi simply scoffed and walked past the man, accidentally tripping along the way. "Mama mia!" He accidentally slapped Yamcha across the face along the way. This only put Yamcha in a bad mood. (''Oh man, this guy must be trying to kill me! I'd better put on a brave face.) "Hey, that's just not nice! I'm gonna have to teach you some manners!" Yamcha shouted as he readied himself in a combat pose. "Mama mia." Luigi muttered as he readied himself as well. TRIUMPH OR DIE... 'FIGHT! 'Cue Music 2 Luigi stuck to his beliefs and did absolutely nothing as the fight began. Yamcha did a little brainstorming as he scanned his opponent. (''Huh. This guy seems like he'll fall over after a slight breeze. I'd better go easy on him.) ''"Here I come!" Yamcha shouted as he performed a high jump kick to attack the green plumber. ...It wasn't very effective. No, it was worse than that. Yamcha overshot his attack arc completely and flew far above the plumber's head. "Oh crap I missed!" His situation went from bad to worse as he noticed that he was heading straight for a strangely positioned warehouse of explosives. "OH GOD NO! I can't stop iiiiiiiiiit!" These were Yamcha's last words as his attack collided with the warehouse, resulting in a massive explosion. "...Mama mia..." Luigi shuddered as he approached the carnage. A massive crater lay where the warehouse once stood. Sure enough, there was poor Yamcha lying face down in the middle of the crater. Luigi thanked his beloved fortune cookie for his own safety as he paid a moment of respect for the fallen Z Fighter. Luigi had defeated Yamcha... by doing absolutely nothing. '''KO! A Few Hours Later... Cue Music 3 ''"Hey boss, wanna see a joke?"' "Did you just say SEE a joke?" ''"Yeah, I bet this'll really tickle your funny bone."'' "UGH." Yamcha groggily opened his eyes to be greeted with some strange voices. "Oh, my head..." "Oh, it's you again. You died so carelessly." Yamcha had to take a few more moments to regain his bearings. "Where am I... Oh not again!" "Yeah, that's at least the fifth time... today. How is that even possible? And you still owe your debts from last time, remember?" "Right let me just- Oh crap! That green guy took my wallet!" Yamcha exclaimed in fear as he realized his situation. "Look, I can't just bring you back to life for free, I have a job of my own to keep. If you can't pay up, your ass is staying here whether you like it or not. Sans, you deal with him." '"Oh come on. I've already done a ton of work today. A skele-" ''' "Yeah, I've heard that joke a million times already. So you take care of the dumbass here or you will be fired!" Hades stormed out of the room loudly. Yamcha could only look down in shame. ''"Yeah look buddy, how about we make a deal? If you win in a fight I've got set up for you, I'll resurrect you for free. You won't have to wait at the SPINE of the line." "Really? Sounds like a deal! I'll take you on any day!" Yamcha shouted with regained confidence. '' "Ha ha ha! You're kidding right? You thought I meant you'd be fighting me? Look kid, you'd get boned before I even have to lift a finger. No, no no. I've planned for you to fight another loser. he should be here any second now..." Right on cue, a man that seemed to be composed entirely of silver suddenly appeared. He seemed to be in great pain since he was on the ground facepalming when he arrived. "Oh, that was just cheap. Why does dying have to be such a bitch?" "Oh buddy you didn't just die again, you got a Game Over. But I'll cut you a deal. If you can beat this loser here in a fight, I'll bring you back for free. You won't have to be so bonely down in Hell. Agreed?" '' The NES incarnation of the Silver Surfer jumped to his feet in response. "Sounds fine by me! This should be a piece of cake!" "You really shouldn't underestimate me man." Both fighters could feel their failures crawling down their backs. Yet, they knew that a victory in the coming battle could lead to redemption in the eyes up the public. Yamcha and the NES Silver Surfer were filled with DETERMINATION. The fighters got into position as Sans made himself comfortable. ''"Yo hold on! Let me just get some ketchup, pour it on my popcorn... All right I'm ready! Now you two get in your combat sanses... 3... 2... 1..." THE SANS OF TIME ARE TICKING... FIGHT!' ''Cue music 4 The Surfer immediately opened fire with a barrage of energy blasts, prompting Yamcha to follow suit with his own ki blasts. As their projectiles clashed, Yamcha tossed out a spirit ball in an attempt to catch the Surfer from behind. Silver Surfer simply fired off a few blasts directly behind him to destroy the ball. (''Damn, I thought that would do him in!) ''Yamcha ceased his assault and weaved through the Surfer's assault in an attempt to close the distance. Silver Surfer had to retreat yet he was still able to continue his stream of fire from directly behind him. "What the- How does that make any sense?" "What do you-" "You're firing shots out of your ass sure, but why the hell do you still see the need to shoot forward at the same time?" "Well, I never know when some random enemy will surprise me and kill me off in one hit." Yamcha was completely dumbfounded by this conversation. The chase continued but neither side could gain a significant advantage over the other. Cue Music 5 '''"Okay, this is getting boring fast. I'm skele-done watching this clown show." Both fighters screamed out in surprise as they found themselves plummeting towards the ground. "Hey, what's the big idea? I almost had him!" Yamcha complained. "Uh huh. To me it just looked like a dog chasing after its own tail. I'm just gonna spice things up a notch." The fighters screamed in terror as they were surrounded by a glowing blue barrier. "Were we really that boring out there?!" Silver Surfer cried. "Shut up and keep fighting. You're gonna have a bad time..." Yamcha took the initiative and closed the distance to the Surfer. "Wolf Fang Fist!" He assaulted the Surfer with Ciscous series of blows but the combo ended prematurely when a gigantic bone erupted from the ground between them. The Surfer got back onto his board and fled into the air as Yamcha fell to the ground face first. "So, do you think you can ketchup to him? You'll never relish in victory if you just take a dirt nap." '' Yamcha groaned as he flew up to chase after his opponent. Meanwhile, Silver Surfer was darting around the arena, narrowly avoiding any bones that emerged in his path. Yamcha circled around another pillar to catch his foe by surprise. "Where did you-" Surfer stammered as Yamcha suddenly popped up in front of him. "Kamehameha!" Yamcha fired a massive laser beam from his hands, prompting Silver Surfer to fly down to avoid it. He didn't exactly watch where he was going. The Surfer was knocked off his board mere seconds after dodging Yamcha's beam by a conveniently placed bone. A strange cannon in the shape of a skull suddenly showed up in the space the Surfer was knocked out of. ''"Wow, that seemed like fun. I think I've mustard up the courage to give it a try as well." The cannon fired an enormous laser of its own at Yamcha. "Uh oh, I"d better move!" Yamcha successfully dodged the beam but two more cannons took the old one's place soon after. The Z Fighter narrowly avoided the coming barrage, only to find even more cannons taking up position to fire at him. Silver Surfer was having just as much trouble near the ground. A wave of bones was heading straight for him. Naturally, the cosmic warrior responded with what he does best. He got back on his board and surfed along the bone wave. "Surf's up dude! I knew that skeleton was a big fat liar! I could see right through him!" Silver Surfer yelled triumphantly. "Meh. I'll give your puns a 7.8/10. Too many boners. And that's awfully generous. You could say you're about to get... boned for that." Silver Surfer had no time to reply before another bone emerged from above and knocked him off his board again. TIME'S RUNNING OUT KIDS! All this time, Yamcha was still going through hell trying to dodge San's lasers. He charged up a Kamehameha as another cannon emerged in the middle of his flight path. "I WON'T LOSE!" Yamcha yelled as he unleashed his fury. The ki wave clashed with San's own cannon with a bright flash. "Come... on..." 5... That was when Silver Surfer saw an opportunity to finish his foe off. He flew up behind the cannon and began charging up his own flurry of projectiles once more. "Perfect. You're mine now." 4... '' "I don't think so chrome dome!" Yamcha triumphantly shouted as his Kamehameha triumphed over San's cannon. The beam pierced right through the contraption, striking the Surfer hiding behind it with full force. ''3... "Yahoo! I've finally won!" Yamcha sped off towards the falling Surfer to deliver a finishing blow. 2... Yamcha reeled back his fist and brainstormed an epic one liner. He was almost there. Yamcha could practically taste the victory on his tongue. 1... GET DUNKED ON! Both fighters were suddenly squished by a small cage of bones crashing down on them. KO! Yamcha and the Surfer lay on the ground in massive pain. "Why..." "What, did you guys really think I'd bring you back to life for free? Sorry to say but even I actually have to work to keep my job. You seemed to have forgotten that you are in MASSIVE debt to my boss too. It's time to pay up!" The fighters could only look down in shame. "Oh come now. Its not too bad down here. You'll be able to come back... eventually."'' '"Its a beautiful day in Hell. Souls are crying... Uncle Lucy's pissed off... On days like this... Losers like you... SHOULD GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE!"' Results Cue Music 6 (Skip to 1:00) THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS... '''''SANS!Category:'Anime/Manga vs Video Games' themed One Minute Melees Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Male-only battles Category:OMMs with a misleading fighter Category:Joke One Minute Melees Category:Team MMYP One Minute Melees Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:'DBZ vs Mario' themed battles Category:One Minute Melees with Music Category:'Hero Vs. Hero' themed ONE MINUTE MELEEs